Family by Default

Repost from The University of Edinburgh's Graduate School Blog

Warning: This post does not contain any events related either to the University of Edinburgh, School of Engineering, city of Edinburgh or Scotland. Be prepared, the content might be an emotional one.

“Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what.” A family does not just means parents and their children. Though blood makes us related, loyalty makes us family. It is undeniably not needed to have any blood relation to become a family. Being alone thousand miles away from home can be really challenging. Hence when we met someone who made us feel like we are at home, we are family by default. We feel the connection and we are comfortable with each other’s company. That’s the bond that we have between Malaysians-Bruneians-Singaporeans. The bond that can never be broken. Speaking of which, I recall the oddest moment when I happened to meet a now-good friend-of-mine on the bus, who didn't have enough change for the bus fare. Strange but true - we hit it off immediately when we first introduced ourselves. We are already like sisters!

I also remember the story of my parents. It was in the 80s when they came to Sunderland for several years and there were not many Malaysians then. Their landlord, neighbours, my dad’s supervisor and friends from the university were their family. My parents taught me that I will never be alone even if I am away. That the people who are there through thick and thin are my family. They taught me that although I may be different from my friends at first glance, the loyalty and friendship and we feel towards each other goes much further despite any differences, that in fact, our diversity makes use stronger. To me, family is the person who help me move, whom I can share the same interest, friends I met at the mosque, friends whom I met at the university’s Islamic society (ISocEd) and friends from the office who soon will be travelling with me in a 17-hour flight. Well that is a commitment! And they are, my family by default.

It’s been a while since we last seen each other so I hosted a small dinner at my place last month. It was such a lovely evening to have friends from all walks of life gathered as a family – rejoicing diversity and putting our arms around each other. One of my friends even brought along her two kids and it was chaotic! But the two cutie pies were of course, the centre of attention. Nothing can ever go wrong if there are children in your house – they are like angels!

Talking about being there when needed most, there are times and under certain circumstances that our families could not make it to the big day - graduation day being one of them. I received an invitation to attend the graduation ceremony a week ago at Usher Hall (since McEwan Hall is still under construction) on June 29th, on behalf of the parents. Congratulations Fareeza and Aqirah on your graduation, I was truly very happy to have witnessed your biggest moment and to see the smile on your blissful faces. All the best in your future endeavours xx

Every time I thought of my family back home, Furious 7’s soundtrack ‘See you again’, which was written as a tribute to the late Paul Walker will definitely come to mind; “How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got? Everything I went through you were standing there by my side”. Just as much as the characters in Fast and Furious regard themselves as a family, myself too have my own family in Edinburgh and they are one of my greatest blessings in life.

July 2015.